women who love men who love drugs

here's what you've been waiting for! a list of my personal favourite dragons of all time. for repetition's sake i haven't included any of the dragons i've posted about in past posts. so without further ado, here's my top ten dankest dragons:

10. Falklor the Luck Dragon (The Neverending Story)



i loved The Neverending Story when i was young. Falkor was such a good bloke! he blew some dank blue fire and swam that sky.

9. Spyro



the first Spyro game blew my mind! the graphics were crazy good for its time. it's unfortunate that some of the latest games have fallen through.

8. Mushu (Mulan)



Mushu was the funniest thing. Eddie Murphy nailed it!

7. Pete's Dragon (Pete's Dragon)



also the most homosexual dragon but this guy was such a sweatheart.

6. Ridley (Metroid)



Metroid was the most hardest game of my childhood. it was so hype when Ridley was in Super Smash Bros. HE'S NOT A PTERODACTYL.

5. King Ghidorah



only a beast this ballin' could go toe to toe against God-damn-zilla.

4. The Fell Beast (The Lord of The Rings)



the dragons of the nine Nazgul. also the scariest dragons of all time. those screeches!

3. Smaug (The Hobbit)



shouts out J.R. Tolkien for coming up with two of the dankest dragons. Smaug was the real deal.

2. Shenron (Dragonball Z)



cell saga was the best saga of any tv show in history no joke. Shenron always saved the day!

1. Bruce 'The Dragon' Lee



enter the goddamn dragon. his flaming martial arts moves make up for his lack of wings. Bruce Lee was the original ganster dragon.

dungtitled and dopamine clouds

i'm so enamoured with dragons that i pick up any odd thing that mentions them. some of the stuff is good but most of it is pretty bollocks, so you're lucky you have me to sort the good from bad! here's a few things to avoid at all costs. this, of course, is just my opinion, so if what you see is appealing to you then by all means give it a go. just don't say i didn't tell you so...

1. Reign of Fire (2002)



this movie sort of flew under the radar even though it had some pretty big names involved: Christian Bale, Matthew McConaughey, Gerard Butler. i've liked each of these guys in some of their respective past roles but it's just painful to watch their overacting in this, and the cheesy lines they're given don't help. the cgi is pretty lackluster too.



it's a piss poor movie and i urge you to avoid it.

2. Merlin (2008 - ongoing)


i dare you to look at that picture, look me in the eyes and tell me it looks good. Merlin is like the lamest show on television right now and i don't know how it's still continuing. i don't know a single person who follows the show. check out how dull Kilgharrah the 'Great Dragon' looks:



it's in its fifth season now and that just flabergasts me. don't even try to watch it.

3. The Inheritance Cycle



i read half of this series and could not read a page more. i understand that the author, Christopher Paolini, was like 16 when he wrote Eragon but there's no reason for these books to be as popular as they are. Paolini is the Stephanie Meyer of dragon literature. his dragons are lame and unoriginal and don't even get me started on that god-awful film adaptation! avoid it, man.

when the sea became a giant

i went to Japan recently and it was a weird trip. the country was overwhelming. in the city you feel like a bee - small, clueless, just sorta buzzing around. the cities are bustling with this intense urgency that, in a way, made me feel very uncomfortable. there's too much to experience at once. if you go a bit out of town though, into the mountains, you feel like a god. i can't imagine the scenery anywhere else being better.



near the end of my stay in Japan i visited the Studio Ghibli museum. if you're unfamiliar with them, Studio Ghibli are the people behind animated films like Grave of the Fireflies and Howl's Moving Castle. in 2001 they released a little gem called Spirited Away, featuring one of the dopest dragons i've come across.

YEAH BRO SPOILERS BRO

so Spirited Away follows a teenage girl who is transported to a spiritual world where she must work at a bathhouse for gods and monsters to save her parents who have been turned into pigs. what a weird and fantastical plot! you can expect that only from the Japanese, huh? at this mystical bathhouse, the young girl meets a boy named Haku who can also assume the form of a white dragon. as a Japanese film, the appearance of Haku follows the conventional asian dragon: long, sleak, wingless, serpentine.



the film is so refreshing and imaginative and the animation is very lush. it truly is a pleasure to see at any age. Haku is an amazing character (i always wanted to be him when i was younger) and the animators obviously spent their time into making him look special. Spirited Away was the best film of my childhood and probably my most watched film of all time. it's just so damn close to my heart.

dragons will never die but you will!

we drift like worried fire

if i could be one character in anything ever, that character would be Harry Potter. wait, scratch that, i'd actually rather be Ron because Hermione > Ginny. or maybe Gandalf... or Neo... or that one guy that gets a lapdance from Natalie Portman in that one movie where she has pink hair and gives lapdances. what i'm truly trying to say is that i LOVE Harry Potter. love the books, love the movies. it's a 10/10 series, along with Lord of the Rings, the Godfather and NOT STAR WARS. my favourite hp film is the third - dat atmosphere, dat coming-of-age feelings, dat second act - but the fourth and last instalments hold a special place in my heart because of those, you guessed it, dragons. i thought the dragon in the fourth film outshone the one in the finale, so i'll focus on him.

THERE BE SPOILERS AHEAD BUT IF YOU HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN HP THEN YOU SHOULD GET OUT OF MY BLOG ANYWAY YOU SCUM I LOVE HP

the Goblet of Fire was probably the most fun film of the series. it was fast-paced, engaging, and you got to see Voldemort feed Robert Pattinson



the highlight of the film was obviously the dragon challenge, though. it was so damn entertaining! my mind erupted when Harry calls his broomstick over and the dragon breaks free of his chains and they have that fight in the air. HUNGARIAN HORNTAIL IS SUCH A COOL NAME FOR A DRAGON. and the damn thing looked so detailed and cool. i thought it was so fresh how the dragon had like two streams of fire.



damn i love dragons and damn i love Harry Potter. peace out.

smoke ring for my halo

howdy partner! for my first 'true' post i've decided to talk about the flavour of the month: Game of Thrones. everyone's seen it, everyone loves it, and, more importantly, there is a trio of killer baby dragons.

SPOILER HO! if you're one of the four people who hasn't seen the series yet, then avert your eyes. you've been warned. 

if i recall correctly, characters mention a history of near invincible dragons, the owners of which had ruled the land. this all happened in the past though, and presently dragons are extinct. across the narrow sea, young Daenerys Targaryen gets her pretty little hands on three dragon eggs. oh, while we're on topic about the khaleesi, can someone make her shut up for chrissakes? you're very pretty and i get that you're so strong and independent but no one likes hearing your voice. it's so high and nasally and whiny and shut up. but you're very pretty so all is forgiven. okay, so Daenerys obtains these eggs and they just sort of sit there for a few episodes but at the end of season one they hatch. this, apparently, is such a big deal that the director made it the final shot.  

shouts out to the guys behind the cgi, because the dragons look pretty great. during season two the newborns get stolen by a man that Dahmer and Gacy would cower from. why does he wear so much purple make-up?

this guy eventually gets his comeuppance, and we see the dragons feed him fire. once again i must give credit to the guys that do the graphics because the fire looked ballin' and don't even get me started on how cool those white walkers looked. the wee dragons are already pretty badass and i can't wait to see how they develop in following seasons. i haven't read the novels, but my money is on Daenerys for the iron throne. once those dragons are fully grown she'll be unstoppable! 

'til next time, friendo.

buenos dias

hello reader. this is my blog. i own it, i created it, i am its god. this is my land and you are but a trespasser. make yourself at home, trespasser, you are welcome here. the title and appearance of this blog is a bit misleading, as it's not about salt nor spitoons (is that even a word?) nor some soupy combination of the two. it has nothing to do with weird pale moustached men either. no, here at the salty spitoon we discuss the good stuff. before i began this blog i knew that there was only one thing i wanted to blog about and that thing was dragons. nothing gets me more amped than a good ol' fire-blasting, princess-snatching, citizen-culling, winged behemoth. they make feel very manly. they make me aroused by my own manliness.

this is just a quick introductory post and i apologize if i've gone on rambling a bit. the main point i want to make, i guess, is welcome to my new blog! here there be dragons...